Now finally...some Zombie Preparation

Apart from the fact that the title of this blog denotes zombie apocalypse preparation, I have talked very little about that very subject. In fact, I believe this very important topic has been significantly lacking from the discussion of issues here. So without further a due, I present to you some measures to take immediately to ensure your safety, and some thought provoking questions you should be considering in the days to come before the year 2012. Never forget, your input here is welcome, we will never be able to survive the walking undead without using teamwork.

Firstly, it is very important to stock up on non-perishables. I am hereby declaring Chili as the official canned food of the zombie apocalypse. You don’t want to get stuck eating ramen noodles. You will be slowed down by all the sodium; the undead will surely get you. My personal favorite is Hormel’s vegetarian chili. Just because the dead are walking and wish nothing more than to eat our brains, does not mean I have to eat meat. This is why proper preparation is important. I don’t want to worry about weaning myself back onto eating meat when my major concern should be ammo conservation and stronghold fortification.

Now, I’ve noticed lately the cost of this good rising, it’s about $1.70 a can in the grocery store now. This may seem a little frivolous… but remember; you are investing in your future. Chili is the perfect survival food. It’s packed with protein, doesn’t require much more than a simple fire to heat and it’s delicious. Additionally, the Hormel brand now comes in pop-top cans, so you aren’t SOL when your can opener breaks, or is confiscated by some zombies. If anyone knows a way I can buy this “canned entrée” in bulk, I would be very interested. I’ve already tried their website, no help there.

Now, I’m not a big fan of guns at all. But they are completely necessary in nearly any apocalypse scenario. You’re going to want to stockpile guns. All types of guns. And this takes some planning as well. Some things to consider:

1. Guns are expensive; you are going to want to budget yourself. Buy quality firearms, because they are going to get a lot of use.
2. Guns may take time to procure. In this state it is pretty easy to buy a shotgun. But handguns take some planning; you need permits and licensing. You are going to want to have both shotguns and handguns. Maybe even other kinds of guns if you know a lot about guns, I do not.
3. In addition to stockpiling guns, you need to think about stockpiling ammunition. Ammo is cheap; you shouldn’t have a hard time with this one. Simple math will tell you how many bullets you need. Just imagine how many bullets you need given the worst case scenario: every other human is a zombie. Don’t forget to take into consideration your shooting accuracy, and give yourself an extra 10% on top of all that for safety.
4. My friend Brian reminds me of an important element of gun-related preparation; you need to be able to clean the guns. Have cleaning materials for your guns ready, and learn to use them.

In fact, I’m going to go out right now and start learning about gun maintenance.